An imperfect person

We are all imperfect people.  I know that.  Sometimes I feel though that I fall into this category too often and I wonder how or why God chooses to still love me.  How does He continue to have patience for me even when I continue to doubt or be fearful or let myself feel stressed instead of blessed?

Jason and I have been called to the mission field.  We know this.  God has reaffirmed this in so many ways already and yet, I continue to doubt.  I continue to be fearful of the unknown and what the future holds for us.  Why?  Because I am an imperfect person.

God continues to be so faithful to us though and just when I start letting doubts, fears, uncertainties creep into my mind, He is so patient with me and shows me yet again that this is His will for us.

God has so often been speaking to me through His word lately.  Today He so clearly did again.  After a night of the above mentioned doubts and fears, I have felt His presence so much today.  I have felt a warmth and assurance in His perfect timing.  My time in the word was no different.

I opened up to the passage in John 14 where Jesus is comforting His disciples.  They keep asking him about the Father and how will they know.  You can almost sense Jesus wanting to just say "Seriously!!!  How many times do we have to go over this?"  v6"I am the way and the truth and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through me"

I feel like I can picture God being that way with me.  How many times or in how many ways does He have to show me that this is His will for my life before I quit doubting or being fearful?  He is with us, the Holy Spirit is with us to "teach us all things and remind us of everything He has said to us"

v27 "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid"

Today I choose to rest in this peace!  To stop doubting or feeling overwhelmed or worrying about funds for the trip or what the future holds for us long term in the mission field.  Today I rest in His PEACE"

I wanted to leave you with a quick picture of the kiddos this past Halloween which also happens to be Karson's bday.

Matthew Ortega1 Comment